How to Have Intimacy with God

March 14, 2023

So glad that you’re back for The Brittany Bruce Show!

Do you ever wonder if there is something missing in your relationship with God? You’re doing all the right things, but you feel like God is just so far away. You know a lot about God, but honestly, he’s a complete stranger. You are craving His presence, you want to hear his voice, you want to know your calling, you want to know HIM in a deeper and intimate way, but your world is loud and your schedule is packed and you know SOMETHING has to change. But what is it?

We are continuing with this new series called “In a Relationship” and today we’re going to talk about how to be intimate with God.. what do we need to do? Are we overcomplicating this relationship thing? Or are we overcompensating because we just don’t know what being in a relationship with God even looks like. If this is you, you’re in good company, I was there too, and that’s what this episode is all about. 

But before we dive into the Intimacy with God episode, I want you to download the The Bible Study Guide! This guide was created to equip you with the tools and knowledge to study scripture on your own without a curriculum! The goal is to get you digging into the Word, actually understand what you’re reading, and apply what the Holy Spirit revealed to you! Just go to to get your free download! Don’t forget to join us in our free online facebook group, The Brittany Bruce Community! In the group you can meet other podcast listeners who want to go even deeper in what it really means to have a relationship with Jesus!!!

Are you ready to finally have an intimate and deep relationship with God? If so, let’s get out your pens, bible, notebook and prepare our hearts and minds as we dig into How to Have Intimacy with God.

A few years ago, I had this really crazy idea to start hosting retreats for photographers at the beach. I wanted it to be a mix between a classroom workshop, a really fun sleepover, and church camp where we all had matching t-shirts.. All rolled into one 3 day retreat for women who needed to step away from their lives, take a break from their businesses to just focus on themselves.. And for most of them- it was the first time they were able to get away from their kiddos since birthing them. 

During these retreats these strangers became family within hours.. They were digging into their dreams, reflecting on their goals, sharing their desires, their passions.. It was truly life changing .. and somewhere in the middle of all of that we talked about photography and running a business, but what was truly life changing was the simple fact that they were able to get off the day to day roller coaster of routines and habits, and focus on who they were, what they were building, and what they wanted out of life.

And even though I was leading and teaching.- it was always life changing for me too. I would selfishly book these retreats as often as I could because I noticed that I would leave changed too! Every 3 months, I was able to escape my life for a few days, and think and pray and rest and each time I realized more and more that when I changed my pace and when I got into a new place .. it always changed my perspective on the things I desired. The dreams I had. And the blessings God had given me.

And the BEST part was that the friendships that were formed were some of my closest friendships because

we were able to talk about REAL things and DEEP things and spent quality time together away from our busy and fast paced lives. 

This type of internal awakening and relationship building came from designated time, away from distractions, which created a huge jolt in my hamster wheel of life AND creating genuine and intimate friendships with people, who were just a few days earlier, complete strangers. 

And this stranger to friendship reality doesn’t just happen with these photography retreats. There’s nothing truly special or different about them…because if I really think about ALL of my really close friends. Like the ones that truly know me. They are the ones I’ve had one on one time with, typically on a trip, away from day to day life.

Those are my people. 

They are my childhood friends who would have sleepovers every weekend together. The ones who were on my high school basketball team who traveled for tournaments. They are my church friends who would pile up in a church bus and drive 12 hours to conferences and mission work, they are my college roommates who would carpool back and forth from our dorm room to Watson with me, they are my business team who would travel and lead retreats with me, they are family who would cruise together with me, and the most important and intimate relationship, my husband, who travels the world with me.

If we really think about the people who are super close to us…who we’ve shared vulnerable and intimate moments with.. Who we consider “close friends” those are the people we have gone away with and spent focused quality time with.

So let’s think about this reality when it comes to our closeness and our relationship with God. Do we ever have times where we go away to have focused time with God.. and only God? 

I’m not talking about church… where you have to get dressed in your Sunday best and get your whole family in the car without killing each other… I’m talking about just you and God going away to be alone.. One on one… When was the last time it was just the two of you? 

And again, I don’t necessarily believe the problem is lack of desire. I believe we WANT to get away and get alone with God. It’s just that we are so busy, so distracted, and even if we DO have time, there is a long, lengthy, laundry list of other things we can do other than sitting in silence waiting for God to show up. 

We’ve become a busy generation that’s fallen into what I call the hamster wheel of life.

If we don’t have something on our calendar, we think we have to fill it up immediately. Or if we aren’t working and producing, we feel lazy and unproductive. If we have a single second of silence or solitude or stillness, we immediately grab our phones and start swiping into a time warp of the never ending black-hole-scroll.

We are a culture of multitasking and notifications and dings and pings, always connected to work and the needs of hundreds of other people screaming for our attention. And don’t forget the side hustle that we’re growing that will hopefully be the answer and the cure to free up some time so that we CAN spend that slow and intimate one on one time with Jesus. But if we wanna do that we have to put in the work, hustle a little more, and stay up a little later because if we just do that- THEN we can give ourselves permission to be alone, in silence, with Jesus.

And on top of ALL of that, you probably have a couple kids who have 24/7 nonstop needs that you have to fulfill. There are lunches to make, clothes to fold, permission slips to sign, and you’re trying to cook something your kids won’t turn their noses up to. You haven’t had a solid night sleep in years. Maybe you’re married and have responsibilities in your relationship like working on communication and encouragement and support and physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. There are deadlines, baseball practice, ceremonies, meetings, and you try to squeeze in a little time to workout to maintain what’s left of your health. Or.. if you’re really lucky, maybe even sneak away and take a long bubble bath for some #selfcaresunday. 

Did I hit just an ounce of what your life may look like? This is definitely what mine looks like. 

And if it hasnt happened yet, you are going to hit a point in your relationship with Jesus- where you are CRAVING more of Him. Where you are sick and tired of the cultural christianity you’ve been apart of.. 

You want to hear his voice, you want to experience his peace, you want to feel contentment, you want to be overwhelmed with his presence. You want him to give you supernatural visions for your life, you want so much more than just a regular, once a week Sunday morning walk with Jesus. 

But how do we create this intimate relationship with God when our life is already filled to the max? We know deep down this relationship is priority, this is the most valuable relationship we have– but what about everything else that’s loud, and in our face and already planned that’s taking up the space in our calendar, destroying our sanity, and sucking our spirit dry.

This was my life for years…but thankfully there is a solution to this.. A way to be intimate with God. To hear his voice to experience him in a new way that will change you forever. A solution where God is no longer a stranger to you, but a close and intimate friend.

The first step to intimacy with God, and the beginning to your REAL relationship with Him… is SOLITUDE.

Getting away and being completely alone, one on one with God. 

Now, I know you knew this was coming.. With the stories and the lead up.. You’ve listened to enough messages to know this was the answer.. But WHY is it the answer? And WHAT does that look like.. And the coup de gras of all questions.. HOW do we get ALONE with God when we live in a world of 8 billion people around and a never ending noise of the world that lives in our pockets?! 

Before I tell you what it is, why we need it, and how to do it.. I want to tell you what solitude is not.. 

Solitude is not going to more church services. Solitude is not getting into a bible study. It’s not making sure you attend the next worship night at your church.. Solitude is not signing up for seminary.. Solitude is not ladies fellowship, or reading your favorite Max Lucado book or watching your favorite speaker.. And definitely not listening to this podcast. 

All of these are great things.. But if you want true intimacy with the ONE who created intimacy– there is no one else allowed in your one on one time with God. 

He wants ALL of your attention- He wants your eyes ONLY on Him. No one else. 

Solitude is the practice of abstaining from interactions with people, or distractions, to be completely alone with God.

This means it’s just you and Him. No one else. This means no preachers…No speakers. There are no podcasters, no worship leaders, no authors. This means no small group leader, no friends or family. No kids asking for juice. No spouse asking what we should eat for dinner. Nobody. Just you and God. 

This also means no outside distractions. No phone pinging at you. There are no work emails. No multitasking laundry and zoom calling and crockpot cooking. No side hustle hustlin. Just you…and your Holy Groom. 

Completely away…from where other people can even reach you. 

The sole purpose of a Honeymoon after you get married is to finally be intimate with your new husband. Get away from distractions. Away from people. No work and responsibility. Away from even the thing you were called to do. Getting away from ministry. Away from church. Away from everything. JUST to spend time with your spouse. 

It’s no different with God. 

You may have found God in the grand auditorium at youth camp with thousands of other teenagers, or during an altar call at church with 300 other people in the room, and that’s where it starts.. but the deep relationship won’t begin until you are alone with Him. 

Jesus knew this.. He knew that in order to be truly connected with His Father, He needed to constantly make time to get alone with God. And the busier He got and the more popular He got.. The more he sought solitude. 

Matthew 14:23 says ‘After He had dismissed the crowds, He (Jesus) went up ON A MOUNTAIN, BY HIMSELF to pray. When it was evening, He was there alone.”  (this means he told everyone to go away so he could go be alone with God) 

In Mark 1:35 it says “Very early in the morning, Jesus got up and went out, and made his way to a DESERTED PLACE and there he prayed.”  (this means he knew he would be with the disciples(his kids) all day, so he woke up earlier than them to be alone with God)

In Mark 6:31 Jesus told the disciples after they were exhausted from DOING for Jesus, their ministry work, the thing they were in fact CALLED to do.. He tells them “Come away BY YOURSELVES to a REMOTE PLACE and rest a while.” 

REMEMBER-Jesus’s life isn’t just a biography. It’s the manual on how to live. 

So If you want to have the type of intimacy Jesus had with God, you have to do what Jesus did. 

I love watching The Chosen and in almost every episode the disciples are like Where’s Jesus? We can’t find Jesus! Or Jesus is missing again! And in this one particular episode, the disciples are all around a table, talking about the plans for the day and how it should be, and who they should minister to, and the details of how it should go. Jesus just excuses himself from the conversation to go be alone with God. This is such a great example of what we should be doing. Not just following the words of Jesus, but following how Jesus lived His life. He knew that if He wanted everything He needed He needed to seek after His father and be alone with Him to truly focus on Him and only Him. 

The RESULT of solitude is Intimacy. And the result of intimacy is a repentant posture.. Its a humbled spirit.. A True Rest. It’s a restored soul, a clean heart, and a focused mind. 

But, WHY can’t we be with anyone else and why do we have to go away to do this? What’s the big deal? Why couldn’t Jesus invite the disciples with him to be alone with God? 

Because, if you aren’t PHYSICALLY with anyone else.. You are more in tune to WHO you’re with SPIRITUALLY. Because the goal during your solitude and intimacy with God is to completely remove your flesh and awaken your spirit. 

Just like your close and intimate relationships that you have in your life were formed and grew by getting away, away from life, from responsibilities, away from work, away from entertainment.. Its the same with God. When you get away, you’re now focused. Your pace changes.. Your place changes.. Which means your perspective changes. 

So how do we do this? Let’s bring this message home with the HOW.

James 4:8 says, Draw near to God and He will draw near to you; Cleanse your hands you sinners and purify your hearts you double minded. 

Right here James writes the command and the promise… 

Draw near to God- other translations say Come near to God or Come close to God…

So then, where do you feel close to God? Where have you physically been where you feel his presence more there than anywhere else? For me its when I’m outside in His creation. Its when I’m on a walk or by water, or at the beach. What is it for you? Where can you be alone with God? Where can you go where you can be one on one with Him?

When I began this spiritual disciple of solitude.. It started with me just sitting outside on my porch, just me and my journal so I could write out my prayers and write down whatever I heard from God. It then progressed to walking outside- WITHOUT my airpods.. Just listening to God’s creation, and praying quietly to myself. Sometimes I would find a spot and just sit there with God. And then, there was this one time last year where I drove to the beach, by myself, without anyone else and sought God there. And THAT is where I heard and felt and experienced God more than ever. Please understand me, you don’t have to leave your house to get in silence and solitude with God… but if you can- do it.. Even if its just once a year for 24 hours. It will be soooo fruitful for your spirit! 

So…James says, Draw near to God. This means physically and spiritually. And the promise is that God will draw near to you! This is the beginning of creating intimacy with God. Being together, focusing on Him and who He is. 

This is your homework this week– Find your place of solitude and go there.. – a place where no one can reach you- without any distractions- without your phone- without your kids or your spouse.. Just you and God. That’s step one. 

So now that you’re in your secret place with God.. your place of solitude, there are 3 postures you can position yourself that will create intimacy with God. 

The first position is the Posture of Repentance

The next part of this verse says “Cleanse your hands you sinners and purify your hearts..”

When we draw near to God, our first action should be a posture of confession and then asking for forgiveness.. Beginning our time with Jesus with confessing what we’ve done, how we’ve messed up, where we are struggling and crying out to Him for help and strength and wisdom to turn away from our flesh and run away from our cages- this puts us in the posture of humility and repentance. And repentance breeds intimacy with God. 

Then you can position yourself with the Posture of Worship.

There are times when I am overwhelmed with who it is that I’m meeting with. Where I have no words…. Psalm 46:10 says “just be still and know that I am God” This is the simplest form of prayer and worship.

Just recognizing who it is that you’re with. Quieting the chaos in your spirit and just focusing on who He is. What He’s done. What He’s brought you through. How He saved you. What He’s given you. How He is holding the sun and the stars and the earth and the galaxies all in place. How he was the same God who spoke and the mountains and oceans came into existence. THIS is the same God that you’re meeting with. This is the most humbling and worshipful thing you can do! Begin with your Posture of Repentance to start new with God, but then move into your Posture of Worship.  And worship breeds intimacy with God. 

And lastly, position yourself in a Posture of Expectancy. 

In John 10:27 Jesus says, My sheep HEAR MY VOICE, and I know them, and they follow me; and I give eternal life to them and they never perish and NO ONE will snatch them out of my hand. 

Just like when you were born in the flesh you were given the ability to hear voices around you-its how we are created as humans- with the ability to hear. It’s the same when you were born again in the spirit, you were given the ability to hear God. But you have to posture yourself with expectancy to hear God’s voice. This is the most intimate thing you can do – get alone with him, be still, be silent, cleanse yourself of your sin, worship who God is and what’s Hes done, and then just listen for His voice.

It’s a whisper and it happens in your spirit. It will move you to tears.. it will be a peace you cant explain and it will fill your cup where its overflowing to the point where you have to share it with someone else. And when he speaks to you- WRITE IT DOWN! This is why I always say to journal – so you can write down what God is speaking to you, so you can pray over it, see it, bring it to the Word of God and be confident that this is God’s voice! Because if it aligns with scripture, and is something you have an overwhelming peace about- you can be confident that this is what God is calling you to do! Write it down! Journaling can be one of the biggest life changing disciplines and holy habits you can start doing. 

THIS Is intimacy with God. Getting alone with the King and the Lord of the Universe with a posture of repentance, worship, and expectancy. 

This is how you begin your intimate relationship with God. It all starts with Solitude. If you feel like God is a stranger, but you want to be fast friends, get away and alone with Him. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. It doesnt have to be over complicated or feel like a roller coaster of spiritual highs or mundane religion.. He simply wants you to step away from the world and BE.WITH. HIM. FOCUS On Him. Meditate on WHO He is. Remember what He’s done, and be expectant on what He’s going to do for you. THAT is what you can do to grow in intimacy with Him.

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